i'm wondering why i always end up feeling like shit before i go to bed. argh.
must be that time of the day again.

if i sleep early... i should skip that time right?
i promise better posts soon. give me till next month. (:

i feel like an asshole again.
maybe i shall just stop talking.

i now know why so many people close down their blogs.
i think it's because you can't say anything on a blog, without people going,
"what happened?"
"who is it?"
or "what's wrong"

i know it's all out of goodwill, but it's reality. you can't say anything on blogs without people reacting. that's why people want public blogs anyway. for people to react.

i was thinking of starting a diary. something i've never done in my life because i've feared that when people look into it, they might think i'm suicidal or something. ARGH. i'm just feeling like shit again.

maybe i shall just be a recluse.
then i could say what i want, do what i want, and nobody would notice.
and people would listen, without wanting to know what happened.
they'd comfort. without needing to know too much.

because the people who'd be there would be me, myself, and i.
wonderful companions.

i guess i don't really matter anymore, do i?

this is ivan. everyone thinks ivan looks like RJ from the new movie "over the hedge". i think he's more of "over the hills and far away". but you have to admit. the resemblance is uncanny.

The Unconfident

a side-quest in a very big role playing game
the minishow.
the one who'll just always be there, wanting to get on stage, but in the end fading into the darkest corner of the room.

the naive, overshadowed one.

why do i believe?

maybe i'll start watching in silence.
maybe i shall just fade away.

the one who's just there.
no more, no less.

maybe i should just not be told anything.
it's a lot better that way isn't it?

The Designer's Creed
sometime's people think i'm strange. i'm a perfectionist when it comes to design. i can't stand lousy design, i don't work well with people i don't like. well, just as information. this is what i live by. The Designer's Creed for me.

1. you're never the best.
2. you're limited only by the strength in your hands. (and money to buy the materials, but i digress)
3. if other's don't like it, you've either got to prove them wrong, or you've got to change.
4. nothing is too much.
5. never trust anyone. not even you're closest friends. unless they're in another industry.
6. talent is better than hard work. both is better
7. quality, not quantity.
8. design is everything. breathe design, eat design, sleep design.
9. leave your mark on everything.
10. if it's not your best, it's better off in the bin.
11. if you understand it, it's design. if you don't, its art. both is fine.
12. never criticise anyone unless you're sure you're better.
13. and even if you are, accept all criticism.
14. if you can't do, don't teach.

so when it comes to design, you know what to expect.

-------------------------------------------------
Doubting Daniel.

that's one more to the overreplaced 'doubting thomas' phrase.
i doubt people. i doubt myself.
and sometimes i'm a total demanding, unreasonable asshole.
sorry.

i'll do something about it. i promise.

blatant plagiarism

two nights ago, i had a dream.
i wouldn't call it a nightmare, because it wasn't particularly bad, but it was just quite pointless.

in it, i killed some person, and was on the run from the cops. and by on the run, i meant literally. and i awoke before i got caught, so i didn't really know what happeded in the end. just that i killed some person, and then i ran for my life.
i awoke, puzzled more than freaked out or anything, because i wasn't caught anway.

some people say dreams foretell what's going to happen.
and at the moment i'm hoping i dont do anything foolish.

today i got to school and started a little designing on the building i'm proposing for my newest project. and this nice person, walks around, looking at what other people are designing.

and as everyone knows, i do everything in marker. it gives a professional look to it, and i like the bold, slightly comic-style look.

so he's observing, and asking questions, while looking at my design, and me, being highly forgetful, forget's that he actually copied my design concept too, not to mention a previous site map, and other miscellaneous designs i've done, answers his questions just to help.
and wow, 10 minutes later, my friends point out an almost exact replica just with a teeeny weeeny little modification, IN MARKER, was on his paper. amazing.

a while later, we're at the workshop, being shown how they mix concrete, and i manage to get my hands on a menacing looking shovel, which everyone was supposed to try to use.

i shovelled once, and after that, quickly passed it to the next person and am so proud of myself for not lodging it into somebody's neck.

but now i implore everyone to keep any sharp or potentially deadly objects out of my hands...
before i actually act out my dreams.

and to that certain someone, keep away before you become nail gun fodder.






anger clouds judgement. i think i need to "pop a chill pill" or something was it? i am sooo outta touch of the lingo people use today.

today i came home feeling like a total wreck because my design concept idea was plagarised by some ass who has stolen my ideas 3 times already.
then i realised the teacher said his idea was interesting. but didnt say anything about mine.
then i got scolded for no particular reason.

but now, i feel like the luckiest boy on earth. but if i told you why, i'd think you'd all take it the wrong way. so i won't tell you why.

but i'm happy now. (:
thanks you.

ask for the banana song.
do you want a banana? peel it down and go mmm mmm mmm!

banana makes me happy. they should make banana spreads. because spreading banana is spreading happiness. (:

okay daniel. get some sleep.

Watch angels in the morning become devils after noon.
I will panic in the evening underneath the crashing moon.
So fall in love while you can still hold your head up high,
and pretend that you're alive again.

Now autumn brings the beautiful things,
where all you give comes back to you like the crown upon my king.
Your life's a song,
so sing along before the silence swallows you and leaves you like a poem,

Watch angels in the morning becoming devils after noon,
I will panic in the evening underneath the crashing moon.
So fall in love while you can still hold your head up high,
and pretend that you're alive again.

It's friends that leave you here in the end,
so hold your head up high and pretend that you're alive.

Your friends,
now ghosts,
are screaming "Bury us," they said,
while panic in my mind was broken

-Pretend You're Alive - Lovedrug

today is a good day.

woke up early to meet nette to go mother's day present shopping, and and breakfast. was joined by daryl shortly after.

it was supposed to be burger king breafast, but ended up at subway, because of....
technical problems.

yes, you heard me right- . somehow, burger king was closed due to technical problems.
fantastic.
but from ,my superior observational skills, the likely possibility was that they couldn't get their signboard lit. because all the rest of the stores were lit, except bk.

and so we ate at subway. actually, twice. for lunch too.
this is random, but i hate olives.

anway, cutting to the chase,
it was pretty fruitful, i got a wallet for mom, which ate a hole in my pocket, for which mom complained about, but of course, i'd sense deep down, that somehow's she's happy that her wallet finally matches up to her son's.

the whole shopping process was pretty uneventful.

i just...

hurt my shin, after tripping over the mannequin stand and in the process freaking out this auntie, whom i hope, didn't die of a heart attack, and not manage to celebrate mother's day. awesome.

whee. i love hurting myself.
and on the way back to the mrt station, we found a really really nice card.
the next time you go the gift shop at citylink, look out for the card with the saggy breasts. SOOO FUNNY!

oh, and i think all women's watches look the same.
okay. this whole section has been pretty random. i apologize
-----------------------------------------------

the i met leb and charm, and we sat at max brenner's.
first time, and i doubt the last.





dark choc suckoas and 3 choc fondue. instant happiness, instant sorethroat, and hyperactivity.

heaven, hell after.

am i three?


i most definitely am not, but when i watched mi3, it sure seemed that way. i got lost during the whole who's the bad guy part, and so did nette, so she wasn't any help anyway. lame was not much better, but i shalln't talk about him, because i won 50cents from him on a bet whether tom cruise was gonna survive.

lame was stupid not to realise the main lead of the show never dies, especially in totally brainless action flicks, and thus, the much smarter dc earns 50 cents off him. hooray.

50 cents = 5 fishballs.
50 cents a lotta money.

---------------------------------------------

it was rather uneventful on a whole, attending cruella's lessons, and meeting the rest of the people after. but i've learnt quite a lot. surprisingly.

1. i cannot play foosball for nuts.
2. foosball is all about luck, because daryl can beat me 3 rows straight. he's got quite a lot of luck.
3. van wants the be sikh.
4. you can cheat stupid singaporeans on bags, because if daryl can, you can do it too.
5. don't sit next to nette and jon when you're watching a show and are in need of some explanation.
6. THERE IS NO MORE BEN&JERRY'S DAY AT PS!
7. if you want a dim sum girl, go to food republic.

aiya vannn.... next time you wanna tie turban, must ask a real sikh la.
i'd gladly tie a turban for you. must see how the pro does it.

i shall apologize for not having blogged in the past week.

and although it's election day, i shalln't talk about the elections.
mainly because i know nuts about the elections; having skipped every single page of the elections in the papers ever since it was in print. oh, and there's a movie by the same name, and they've been making a huge fuss over some form a few days back, like kids fighting over the last piece of candy.

enough about that, i've just completed my submission for group work yesterday, and now that it's over, it's like a load being lifted, like an elephant taken out of my rear end.

and now i'm too tired to blog. i shall go nap again.

the set stage,
the lone stool,
the puppeteer of my own demise,
the writer of my own tragedy,

i.