WORKWORK.i've been working at a marks and spencer's warehouse for about a little over a week now.
let me talk about my co-workers, whom i shall term
bengs. work has been made a little more interesting, but not entirely more bearable because of them, but before i go on bitching about them and their amusing, but sometimes totally irritating nature, let us define this strange but common human subspecies,
bengs.
by
bengs, i'm not referring to originators of the term- those with long fingernailed-pinkies, and walking looking as if they've got some kind of tumour growing between their legs, but the sort that has toned down, possibly by natural selection(also known as population control via stupidity) and prolonged evolution(they've been around since our parent's times) these are the ones which somehow try to blend into society, and do so, to a certain extent, but are still quite obviously resembling their predecessors.
often seen hanging out below void decks, a substantial proportion of them have been seen venturing out into the mainly cosmopolitan-dominated areas like orchard road during the recent years, along with their weird mannerisms, these strange creatures should be quite easy to spot if you look hard enough.
i work with 5 of them. well, 4 bengs and 1 wannabe. but i shall elaborate another day.
bengs commonly speak a native language called hokchinglish, which is a mix of hokkien, chinese and english expletives coupled with some very basic and still sometimes misused grammar, coupled with various hand signals to communicate and make a point. put simply, an expletive-ridden polinglish.(poly english. i made a post about it previously. search for it)
an example of how they normally speak would go something like,
A: "ch**bye! this f**king meat damn nice seh!".
B: "nice meh?! gam hua sai sia the meat!"
A: "na bei! *points middle finger* f**k seh! your tasting got problem issit?!"
their english vocab rarely goes beyond two syllables, and their chinese is, thought slightly better than mine, still mostly understandable by me, and that says alot about their grasp of languages. they do, however, have relatively adequate motor skills, possibly to make up for the lack of mental capacity.
strange creatures, i must say, and they do, make tagging bras and panties much more bearable with their "wah! si bei tua sia!" and "kan ni na! xin gan siaaa! wo tou gei wo de nu peng you chuan la!"s
it also amuses me quite a bit when they put 40Ds on their heads, exclaiming how big they are.
they might just discover fire soon.
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anyway. the first few days for me were spent tagging overpriced, but reasonable looking marks and spencer clothing, both male and female, and i must say, some striped tees for the girls look good. but the guys clothing is pretty plain. like slightly more upmarket Giodano.
after a few days of pricking myself in the finger over 3 times with a fat, potentially disease spreading needled tagging tool, i got transferring into the lingerie section, where i
fondled more women's lingerie than i could imagine taking off in my entire lifetime. tagged a lot of undergarments.
that was when i realised i didnt even know how to read bra sizes, and the only difference i could see between those strange, padded stringed cloths was that they ranged from itsy bitsy teeny weeny and homongoosely huge.
great. so i got myself educated.
thanks (:and went back with a little more knowledge of one of the things i've been completely ignorant about all my life except the time i wanted to buy one, cut it into two, and use them for facemasks during the sars period.
and i've been feeling bras ever since.
and i've come to a conclusion, if my futre girlfriend wears bras, she's gonna wash em herself. because bras + hangers = tangles. which as irritating as getting your earphone wires in a bunch.
panties come in an amazing array of sizes colours and degrees of ugliness. with some looking totally sexy (insert comment: "nabei! si bei hong kan!"), and some looking like superman's underwear after a moth attack.
they are so many kinds, i'm really really thankful that i only have to choose between briefs and boxers.
but this you have gotta see.
i tell you, i thought i would have seen almost everything interesting in my 18 years of life(considering your life supposedly only gets more boring beyond the 20 year old mark, or so it seems)
but this is something i've never seen before, and hopefully dont have to see again.
ZOMFGWTFBBQ!1!111 FRILLY SIZE 18 TRANSPARENT GRANNY PANTIES!!!1!1!they were so huge they kept falling off the hangers so it was a pain in the ass(no pun intended) to label because they couldnt even fasten onto the last knob of the hanger.
you dont get to see that everyday. sorry for the momentary blindness caused, if any.
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and at the end of the day, it feels pretty good to just have one beng walking around with a "no visible panty line" tag on his back. they are pretty nice to have around when they're not going around debating topics like blowjobs and playing around with girls. oh, and singing totally off key to the latest chinese song on the radio.
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back to labelling tomorrow. and i wanted to blog longer, but i need sleep to work again tomorrow. tagging is hard work. x)
